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[Jul. 4th, 2008|12:55 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  good | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Pink Floyd "Time" | ] |
Not that I give a fuck about imperial honours or people that subscribe to royal ass-kissing in any form, but I wonder how all the people who worked their guts out for charities or risked their lives for honourable causes felt when utterly talentless moll Kylie Minogue got presented with an OBE yesterday.
lulz |
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| iPod |
[Jul. 4th, 2008|10:08 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  awake | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Alice Cooper "7 & 7 Is" | ] |
I bought the iPod yesterday in a painless transaction. I chose this instead of the Sony Walkman because the iPod store was on my way home, such is the seriousness of my analysis.
I cannot say a single bad thing about the iPod itself. iTunes, on the other hand, has delivered me two blue screens of death already (I have not seen a BSOD since the last Windows 98 machine I had to support which would have been... ~2002 I guess). The second BSOD blew the firmware on the iPod, which I had to reinstall.
This iTunes performance completely lives up to my expectations of how shit it was going to be to work with. To be fair, as I was commenting to ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) lossfound earlier, the Creative software I was using was no better and was not beyond halting for no reason either. In its favour, it at least had the courtesy of returning "I've fucked up and I need to close" rather than a BSOD so at least I didn't have to restart it.
Over the weekend I will be installing software per pricciar's instructions and seeing if that provides a more positive experience. |
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| As Per The Movies |
[Jul. 3rd, 2008|10:07 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  hungover | ] |
Exactly twenty four hours ago I was predicting the fairly imminent need to replace my five year old MP3 player.
One hour ago, I plugged the headphones in, and pressed play, and only got one channel. If I push it in all the way, it's left. If I stand like this and push the headphones just so, it's right. But never both.
Amazing. Many years of thinking of sharing a shower with Patricia Heaton, nothing. One random thought about how the MP3 player might be on its last legs, BOINK. Fuck you, power of suggestion.
I'm going to have to swallow my pride and go get myself an iPod Shuffle until I save up for the Classic. I can't not have an MP3 player. It's with me all the time, like my wallet, keys, ventolin, and seething hatred of the people around me.
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| iWha? |
[Jul. 2nd, 2008|09:40 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The Beatles "Wait" | ] |
I am saving some money to replace my Creative Zen Xtra 60GB MP3 player, which is now five years old and, with the amount I have used it over the past five years, is entitled to give up the ghost at any minute. It's already been in for repair once.
Of concern is the fact that the front runner to replace it is the iPod Classic. The 80GB model in Australia is $319. Almost nobody makes MP3 players at or over the 60GB mark, and even my preferred choice, Creative, can't do you anything over 16GB for that amount of money.
I don't understand how Apple is the right decision for FINANCIAL REASONS. This event has never occurred once in the 25 years I have been aware of Apple. Something has gone very wrong with the economy, or something.
I shudder to think that before the end of the year I will actually own an Apple something or other. Happily, I'm still not any closer to owning any General Motors product, which in my mind would probably be a strong indicator of World Gone Entirely Topsy Turvy. |
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| So oh oh OH OH ER EE ER UH WINDOW OOOOOOOOOOOH |
[Jul. 1st, 2008|11:32 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  busy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | John Cale "Amsterdam" | ] |
You know what ruined my day from the getgo this morning? My radio station, which normally concerns itself with playing recent horseshit songs, went retro horseshit this morning and subjected me to, of all things, fucking Kate Bush's "Wuthering Heights". The last thing I need while I'm stumbling around grumpily in the morning trying to remember how the coffee machine works or how to make omelettes is fingernails down the fucking blackboard and tinkly piano for three straight minutes.
Let me tell you what bugs me about "Wuthering Heights". If I produced that as a voice post, or on a demo, you'd listen to thirty seconds of it and say something sarcastic about how I should stay off the cheap scotch. If a bunch of mental patients did it, you'd suppress your initial laughter to get all misty and sniff "Oh, they have so little but they try so hard," and never think about it again after a few seconds. Kate Bush does it and it's the greatest fucking outburst of pure female emotion since "I Am Woman" and people ring radio stations and start bleating about how it reminds them of floating around their lounge room in a red dress as a four year old girl, INCLUDING the males.
NO, people, NO NO NO. LISTENING TO HOW SHE IS SINGING. IT'S A HOAX. STOP IT. STOP IT NOW. |
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| DANCE DANCE DANCE TO THE RADIO |
[Jun. 30th, 2008|09:55 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | awake | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The Killers "Enterlude" | ] |
We watched Control on Friday night. I've been dying to see it for ages. I thought it was okay, but not brilliant. It seemed like a compilation of snippets from somebody's life without great depth or development, like a 90 minute long movie trailer. I am sure there was more to Ian Curtis then having seizures and hanging himself, but that seems to be the focus of a lot of the material done about him.
Not that I'm a huge Joy Division fan. I like them more than New Order, but I could never figure out why people were frothy at the mouth about Joy Division and generally dismissive of Public Image Limited, since both bands were mining the same cold/distant vein. Possibly because Lydon was always making a dick of himself in interviews.
On the other hand, we only have one episode of 30 Rock to go. They've only released season 1 here. It's definitely become one of my three favourite television shows of this decade, the others being Curb Your Enthusiasm and Arrested Development.
There's very few people in the office today. It's basically myself, the project manager, and Harry Haveachat, who has mercifully stopped annoying me since I began point-blank ignoring him. Perhaps everybody else have realised the futility of employment in information technology and are at home planting avocados before the wet season begins.
One thing they're definitely NOT doing: Going downstairs to get more paper when they put the last ream in the printer, FUCKING BOXHEADED JERKBURGLARS. |
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| It's Gonna Take A Lot Of... Tapping With A Cold Spoon |
[Jun. 25th, 2008|11:44 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | busy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | John Cale "Hello There" | ] |
I have decided to remove Nicolette Larson's cover of "Lotta Love" from my MP3 playlist altogether. It started up today just as my bus stop was approaching, and by the time I needed to disembark, I was firmly stuck under the seat in front of me, annoying all the passengers and bus drivers but presumably pleasuring one elderley woman.
I am using the elliptical trainer every day now, using a walking program sourced via http://www.exrx.net, which is where I get my weight training information. I can't use my weights bench at the moment because my dear sweet partner has arranged boxes of her stuff all over the spare bedroom so that I can't approach it, let alone work out on it. What could she possibly have against bench presses? She seems to otherwise enjoy lateral pushdowns.
When we first brung home the elliptical trainer, it had a horrid squeak on one side. It was so bad I couldn't use it. I solved this the way I solve all similar problems, by spraying shitloads of WD-40 into any local crevice I can find. Also, into the machine itself. It fixed it perfectly. Something I cannot fix so easily is that I have to watch those twats Mel and Kochy on Sunrise while working out because I find television a better distraction than music, and there really is nothing else on at 6:15am apart from the even worse Channel Nine Mel And Kochie Twat Cyphers.
Last week we watched the Paul Simon Graceland installment of the "Classic Albums" series. I was charmed by Paul Simon sitting at the mixing desk and meaningfully criticising his own work in an intelligent fashion. Many others go "UH NOW IF WE DROP OUT THE BASS" and push a fader down to prove ...something. The program didn't change my mind about Graceland; an important document, very well made, a very early use of world music in the popular world, a career saver for Paul Simon, and yet boring as fucking batshit from beginning to end. |
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| Pact, Day 1 |
[Jun. 23rd, 2008|09:11 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | awake | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Col Joye "Oh Yeah Uh Huh" | ] |
I have made a pact with my friend soopageek to post daily, which I'm kicking off today. I thought the pact could be enlivened by perhaps forcing the first person to miss a day to send the other a bottle of Makers, but then I realised that with the exchange rate, the total cost to him would be about AU$8 and for me, about AU$756. So instead, we're playing for honour and mutual respect. This is easier done than said, as we are friends in name only, are both dishonourable, and have no respect for each other at any rate.
Yesterday, She and I went out to pick up an elliptical trainer we bought on the eBay. It will likely be the last thing I buy off eBay if they continue with their dickwank idea of limiting payment to COD or PayPal. The trainer in question costs $500 brand new and about $60 or something for delivery. The one we got was an unwanted gift which cost $200 and hiring the ute to pick it up was $51, AND She got to have a little tour of the neighbourhood where she grew up, so all well.
I put a picture up of it long enough to have a small exchange with onlylisa and as soon as she saw it and commented I took the picture down again. I was accidentally wearing a tightish shirt when the picture was taken and I don't want to expose anybody else to the result. It's distressing because my weight has gone into three figures, which would be bad enough if I was talking about kilograms, but the fact that I'm measuring in stone is even worse. |
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| Paul G: A Great Hit With All The Ladies |
[Jun. 16th, 2008|09:27 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  thoughtful | ] |
I should probably talk about coming back from Brisbane, and I will, but two weeks of merriment and hilarity were eclipsed by a weekend full of action with the ladies.
Firstly, on Saturday afternoon I rang onlylisa, somebody who I have known for some years and make sure that I meet up with any time we're in the same city. I call her only rarely, so no doubt she's always really pleased to hear from me, as you could tell by the conversation:
Me: Lis, it's Paul, how's it going?
Lisa: (background noise like she is in the closing act of Can't Stop The Music) What?
Me: It's Paul, is that you Lis?
Lisa: ........No.
Me: (perplexed, because I can identify her voice) Lis? I just wanted...
*click*
Then I took my pyjama bottoms down to my local laundry lady where I have been going for occasional laundry, dry cleaning, and repairs since I moved to Sydney. See, I was molesting Sam on the couch when my pyjama pants, which I never do up, fell about my knees and as I fell through the coffee table, they ripped straight down the seams. The laundry lady held my torn pants in the air, regarded this damage, and exclaimed "You have...", pausing in deep thought to make sure she got her English phrasing exactly correct, "BIG BUM."
As I was walking home from the laundry, Nicolette Larson's cover of "Lotta Love" started playing on my MP3 player resulting, as all males my age will be able to attest, in a full-on robot chubby that threw me off balance and I fell into a brick wall in front of an old age pensioner and her small dog. |
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| Memories |
[Jun. 5th, 2008|12:02 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | good | ] |
The stories I heard about my Father that he never told me but which were recounted to me after his death made me more fond of him then ever. The previous prime example was how, during a famous (in Brisbane) electricity workers strike of the mid-1980s, he would take a box of groceries to the picket line every single day for weeks, even though he was not a member of any union, with not a word to my Mother or anybody else. Now we have a new winner, which was described to me on Monday night.
In the early 1980s, he was driving a fare in his cab, and when he reached his destination, the person involved tried to do a runner. My Dad abandoned his vehicle and tore off after him and must have caught up with him, because by the time he found him, a crowd and the other driver involved witnessed him struggling with this absconder at a shopping centre in Tarragindi. My old man had the victim in a headlock and was attempting to punch him repeatedly in the face, but his efforts were marred by the victim squirming and struggling.
Somebody in the crowd yelled at my old man, "Leave him alone!"
To which my Father, still entwined with his nemesis, addressed the assembled: "EITHER JOIN IN, OR FUCK OFF."
Both driver and juvenile were taken to Dutton Park Police Station to discuss the matter further. And I never discovered any of it until 26 years after the fact.
Also, happy birthday to my associate democritus. Have an excellent day, my man! |
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[Jun. 3rd, 2008|11:38 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  relaxed | ] |
I have now been in the Land Of Second Chances since Thursday night. The first 500 kilometres were simple and the final 500 utterly diabolical. It hasn't rained decently in Brisbane for years, and the deluge started when I was about 200 kilometres out, and it has been pouring down ever since. Great for the dams, but not much fun driving for two hours in the dark and pouring rain staring at the tail lights in front.
When I got here my Chief of Staff informed me that he was staying with his fiancee, as was his brother and partner, so I had his unit all to myself, which has been great. I get up at around 9, schlepp down to the local for breakfast, go to my lunch meeting, afternoon activities, dinner meetings, and come home around 11, read the paper on the balcony and have a nightcap.
My sister's thirtieth birthday party on Saturday night was a success. It was a seventies theme. I hired a white Elvis jumpsuit, wig and sunglasses set and tended the bar. There are photos. My mother didn't know I was coming to Brisbane, so she got the shock of her life when Elvis appeared out of a cold room going HEY MAMA.
Other than that I've kept four lunch and five dinner appointments and have about the same to go, plus a huge four-part wedding extravaganza on Saturday which She is flying in on Friday to accompany me to, and we get to spend a few days together before she flies out again and I drive back the next day. So far, so good, except I've had to wash my clothes in laundry soaker because there doesn't seem to be any detergent here. |
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[May. 28th, 2008|05:10 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Johnny Cash "Hurt" | ] |
You can set your watch by it; I don't remember how long ago it last rained here, but with me driving to Brisbane tomorrow, there has been an inexplicable late thunderstorm. They're still predicting fine weather tomorrow. I hope so.
Of all the 6,500,000 things in my life that I could reasonably feel guilty for doing, I am suffering from horrendous guilt because I gave Her my sick. She came down with it last night. I could have worn gloves around the house! I could have worn a face mask! I didn't have to sneeze all over her pillow while she lay sleeping! It's alright for me, my work's not like hers where they expect you to turn up and do stuff.
Amazing Facts "Believe It Or Not!!"
I really, really like Gordon Ramsay.
In preparation for the trip, Big Red has had an inspection, park brake adjustment, new dome light cover, two new Goodyear Eagle F1s, and today it went for a detail because there's nothing worse than driving for twelve hours in a filthy car with dirty windows. Some would say the wise thing would be to get it dirty on the road, detail it when it comes back, and put it away. Either way, it's not a bad life for an eight year old car that goes to Brisbane and back once a year and otherwise drives five minutes down the road every Sunday for grocery shopping.
Look at how it sits there, mocking me. Laughing at me. |
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| If You Like To Gamble, I Tell You I'm Your Man |
[May. 26th, 2008|02:19 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Double Up Or Quit | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sick | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Double Stake Or Split | ] |
I've taken today off work because I had one of those nights where I couldn't lie down for drowning in my own mucus, so I sat up in the lounge room stuffing around on the internet until about 3:45am. I got three hours of crappy sleep and then called in sick. I feel a bit better now after a nice nap, and also the cold has progressed to bronchitis so at least it's on the way out.
You win some, you lose some, it's all the same to me.
I mentioned briefly before I'm going to Brisbane for a couple of weeks. My sister's 30th birthday is next weekend at the Queensland Russian Community Centre, which longer term readers will remember was a horrendously-less-than-happy hunting ground for me for over three years. She gave me the bartending job; she needed somebody responsible and trustworthy for this position. Since she doesn't know anybody like that, she offloaded it to me because I've tended the bar there on 415 previous occasions.
The weekend after that is my Chief of Staff's wedding, comprising a Buddhist ceremony, an Anglican wedding, high tea, and then an intimate dinner for the Nearest and Dearest which I somehow got invited to (he must have to make up a quota by inviting mentally disabled people). The best thing is that She will be joining me for the latter event and I get to show her points of interest in My Brisbane eg. the 7-11 where the police ordered me out of the car, the park where I had that dream that Kate Winslet was giving me a hand job, the pub where I played in a band to eighty people yelling "PLAY ROADHOUSE BLUES OR YOU'RE FUCKED". I'm sure she'll be enthralled.
The best part is I have colluded with my sister to make my Mother think that I won't be up for my sister's 70s themed birthday party. I told my Mother that I couldn't get leave to spend a week there and so I would be flying in for the wedding only, missing the birthday party. She will get a big surprise when she sees me, if she recognises me in a Kentucky Rain-era Elvis Presley outfit. I hear she has been complaining to people about "I CAN'T BELIEVE MY SON CHOSE A WEDDING TO GO TO BRISBANE FOR. INSTEAD OF HIS SISTER'S BIRTHDAY. HOW COULD HE ETC ETC ETC" as predicted by me about four months ago.
And don't forget the joker. |
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| Sick |
[May. 25th, 2008|01:42 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | sick | ] |
I managed to wake up with the sick yesterday morning, and it's now today afternoon, and the thing hasn't made any effort to leave my throat and go fuck up my nose, so it might be here for a while.
However, I am pleased it is happening this weekend. On Thursday I am driving up to Brisbane and will be there for a day short of two weeks. The first weekend I have my sister's 30th birthday to attend. The following weekend is my Chief of Staff's wedding. In between, I will be visiting my Brisbane-based friends and associates. I've got the itinerary 90% sorted out, I just have a couple more people to check up on tomorrow and I'll be set. So I am pleaed to have the sick now and not the day I have to drive for 12 hours, since me getting the sick just after the weather changes is and always has been a given.
I had Big Red checked by my mechanic on Friday (two thumbs up) and on Saturday it went to Goodyear for two new boots. The tyre shop had five hoists in an area the size of my lounge room. I told them it was the tightest workshop I had ever seen. They said that if they didn't run five hoists, they would not be able to afford the rent. It's very sad, the modern world.
While I was waiting, a guy showed up in a Mazda 6 with a space saver wheel on the right driver's side. I've never owned a car with a space saver so I've never had this experience. I asked him if it was weird to drive on. He said it made the car drive strangely, stop strangely, and corner strangely, and then mentioned that his wife had been driving with the space saver on the car for the last seven months. I couldn't imagine it.
One good thing is that we have been watching the first season of 30 Rock on DVD. I haven't enjoyed a television series so much since Arrested Development. Alec Baldwin is fantastic, and I really like Tina Fey, who I only remember from interrupting my marathon masturbation sessions watching Mean Girls.
And now back to my deathbed. |
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| Button Down Lifestyles |
[May. 23rd, 2008|12:26 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Love "Old Man" | ] |
Last week I happened into a second hand clothing store to buy myself a leather jacket, as I have not owned one of these for some years and decided it would come in handy. While there I noticed that they had 501s in my size at the right price so I bought a couple of pairs. I have never owned 501s.
So here's the query. BUTTON FLYS. WHY? WHY????????????
I have never ever owned jeans with anything but zip up flys. I am not blessed with coordination skills. These things are particularly difficult to operate. It's alright for some of my brothers who I know pose at the urinal with pants around their ankles Crazy Old Man from The Simpsons style, but I like to keep my pants commissioned during this activity and all the belt buckle and button undoing makes me nervous and thus less coordinated, leading others at the urinal to regard me with a raised eyebrow, particularly when I'm trying to do them up again and it's taking me half an hour.
God help me if I ever have emergency #2 problems. |
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| Mothers' Day Traditions |
[May. 23rd, 2008|10:28 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | good | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Nicolette Larson "Lotta Love" | ] |
This happens EVERY SINGLE YEAR, despite my best efforts to not repeat it.
Mothers' Day comes around. I buy my Mother a card and gift. If it is a Diana Krall CD or something, I do my best to get the hell out of there befor she puts it on. (This has been much easier since I moved to Sydney).
She then gets annoyed because I didn't buy my Grandmother anything. I tell her it's called MOTHERS' DAY not ALL FEMALE ANTECEDENTS' DAY. She says that shouldn't matter. I point out to her that nobody made me buy her old man a gift on Father's Day. My sister weighs in and tells me to shut my hole. I make a mental note to do something next year and forget it by Christmas.
I have nothing against my Grandmother. I just think Mothers' Day is to celebrate the sacrifices of your own mother, and in my case, to remind her that I didn't ask to be born.
What do you people do on Mother's Day? How many generations do you go back? |
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| Request |
[May. 22nd, 2008|11:56 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sore | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The Clash "The Street Parade" | ] |
Dear people in the contiguous states of the USA, Alaska, Hawaii and the District of Columbia,
I humbly request a favour. I've been hunting down a song for a while now and have only recently discovered the title and artist, which is "Cryin' Again" by the Oak Ridge Boys. This was the song I woke up to on the radio prior to the news that the Challenger space shuttle had been destroyed in January 1986. I know it sounds macabre, but I would like to have it in my collection because I'd like to re-listen to it a few times to deaden its impact. It's been haunting me for quite some time.
The problem is I can't find it on any of my regular ...er, research areas but I have found it at Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Gold-Oak-Ridge-Boys/dp/B000LXSTRC/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1211421279&sr=8-2. However, I am not allowed to buy it because Amazon forbids MP3 sales outside the USA and I can't fool its goddamn IP detector.
If the next time one of you guys in the USA are shopping at Amazon and can spare 99 cents to buy this MP3 and email or ftp it to me, I'd be most appreciative. I don't have 99 US cents to send you but I'd be happy to respond in kind or do something for you that will take two minutes of my time (which is what 99 cents will buy you at $30 per hour).
Thanksie. |
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| Oh dear |
[May. 21st, 2008|04:38 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  apprehensive | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Spencer P. Jones "The Last Gasp" | ] |
So She says to me last night on the couch, "Actually I wouldn't mind watching the Eurovision finals."
... |
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| Hence the clothes on backwards |
[Apr. 29th, 2008|01:53 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | busy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Joy Dvision "Substance" | ] |
I saw something quite unusual and retro in the lift at work today. Some female student had an "Ace Of Base" handbag with group name and pictures emblazoned on it. I would have complimented her and talked with her more about it, but I figured this was inappropriate as I had just knocked her out of my road for walking into the lift as I was trying to get out.
I'm not usually that animated at work but I have been doing a few calisthenics. The reason is because The Mac Daddy made me JUMP JUMP. The Daddy Mac made me JUMP JUMP. Kris Kross made me JUMP JUMP. |
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